Author Topic: Report Card !!  (Read 9579 times)

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Offline MasscreTopic starter

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Report Card !!
« on: April 24, 2014, 07:31:03 AM »
+1
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands...

"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of her piercings, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!
Don't worry, Dad. I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many grandchildren.
Love, your son, Joshua.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Jason's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table. Call when it is safe for me to come home!

Offline gimlet

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Re: Report Card !!
« Reply #1 on: April 24, 2014, 10:23:49 AM »
+1
hehehehehe

Offline Bookwyrm

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Re: Report Card !!
« Reply #2 on: April 24, 2014, 03:12:47 PM »
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Would be a very long time before that call was made. :o
"The most preposterous notion that H. Sapiens has ever dreamed up is that the Lord God of Creation, Shaper and Ruler of all the Universes, wants the saccharine adoration of His creatures, can be swayed by their prayers, and becomes petulant if He does not receive this flattery. Yet this absurd fantasy, without a shred of evidence to bolster it, pays all the expenses of the oldest, largest, and least productive industry in all of history."   Lazarus Long

"The second most preposterous notion is that copulation is inherently sinful."   L.L. 

Offline Crisis

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Re: Report Card !!
« Reply #3 on: April 24, 2014, 03:33:07 PM »
+1
That is something that I would have done. Then my parents would have called right away assuring me that all was well and to come home. At that point I would know that I was in a lot of trouble and would have started planning my escape to the next state.

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